The Wild Edge of Sorrow: Rituals of Renewal and the Sacred Work of Grief Paperback – September 15, 2015

It is coming up on a year since my oldest son left us. I thought I would be in a shambles, as I was every year after my first daughter passed away. Strangely (to me), I find my brain fog is lifting, I am beginning to think clearly again. If you rely on your intellectual faculties the way I do, you know how horrible it feels when your brain has wrapped itself in some kind of protective wool. Like any bandage or cast, it's for recovery, and healing, of course, but it's also hampering, and restrictive, and sometimes, because you can't seem to think, it's embarrassing. Especially when you need help from those around you to perform simple tasks that have become overwhelmingly difficult.I tend to hide my grief, or try to keep so busy I can forget for a time, but it has been an ever-present shadow and weight that I have been dragging through my days and sleepless nights.Yet somehow, these past few weeks that I have been dreading the approach of, I feel ready to do the "work" around this profound grief.As often happens, help comes along the way, in the form of people who have experienced this,, books, and of course, Spirit...Last week I purchased this book. I have books on grief that have helped me in the past. I have had wonderful books recommended to me by others who have been in this Valley of the Shadow of Death. But never a book so profound, so powerful, so, I want to say *personal*, that so intimately knows every crumpled edge of my grief, and could show me how to navigate and smooth the rough edges of it...Even the forward is resonant with insight and reverential peace.The poem below is in this book...if you have lost someone that you thought you could not bear to lose, I cannot recommend this book enough. Especially if, like me, you believe that all of our life experiences are intended to or can be used to grow spiritually. You will never regret reading this beautiful, powerful, medicinal work.It is healing medicine, lancing wounds, applying balm, bringing tears of healing and love in place of despair.I am grateful.This is the poem.:‘Tis a fearful thingto love what death can touch.A fearful thingto love, to hope, to dream, to be –to be,And oh, to lose.A thing for fools, this,And a holy thing, a holy thingto love.For your life has lived in me,your laugh once lifted me,your word was gift to me.To remember this brings painful joy.‘Tis a human thing, love,a holy thing, to lovewhat death has touched.”~ Yehuda HaLevi (12th Century Spain)

This is by far of the most incredibly powerful books I’ve ever come across. Weller’s writing is eloquent and robust, stressing the importance of grief in order to understand, accept, and fully appreciate the entire human experience of life and its many gifts. It’s an invitation to suspend your ego, hold yourself with compassion and provides grounding rituals in case you don’t know where to start. I would love to see the practices in here woven with yoga or some other form of physical exercise and made into a course because I think it would benefit society greatly. Definitely a book that I’ll be revisiting to read over and over and I’ve recommended it to many of my friends.

This is the one book I've been waiting my entire life to see come out on the subject of grief and the absolute necessity of grieving, for the healing of hearts and minds - our own, our families, and our communities. It is about the powerful sense of wholeness and the vital energy that is released when give ourselves permission to feel and honor our grief. It speaks to the ancient, and long forgotten, understanding of the importance of ritual and community as safe "containers" necessary to hold and honor that grief as it is released - and which are absolutely essential to a healthy vibrant life for community and every individual within it. It is the way to reclaim our sense of the sacred, of belonging, and of our truer selves that have been rejected and buried under deep, deep layers of unexpressed sorrow. Frances calls it "soul activism" and a "subversive act" in a culture determined to deny the importance of our emotions and the need for their expression. We have become alienated from ourselves, from others, and from this earth and it has been killing us inch by inch, year after year - eating us all alive - for a very long time. This books will help you find your way back home to yourself and others, and to this stunningly beautiful earth we live upon. It validates our individual and collective grief and the added pain (and growing sense of loneliness) we have all experienced when we have been shamed into to stuffing these feelings in a multitude of ways. I couldn't recommend this book more highly. It is one of the most important books that you will ever read and in these dark times the knowledge and wisdom it contains has never been so urgently needed, as it today. So buy it, read it, and, if you are able, start healing groups in your own communities as soon as possible. You don't have to have any special knowledge except for what is contained in this book, to start. This is completely uncharted territory for most of us - but it is one that we must enter, and explore and become familiar with if we want to heal our broken hearts and communities - and Francis shows us how we can begin. And each time you do you will find that the gifts which come from undertaking this journey far outweigh the fear and pain we all feel when we first set out. Indeed, you will be filled with profound gratitude and a sense of joy and wonder that most of us haven't experienced since early childhood - and know that it was worth every moment of the pain and fear you walked through. And you will laugh, wondering why you hadn't done it sooner and why everyone else has been so afraid to.A personal note: I have been a subversive of this ilk for a long time. At first, because my sorrow was just too much to hold in, but later it became an outright act of rebellion against the destructive cultural norm to stuff uncomfortable and "inconvenient" feelings. I feel that it is an insult to the integrity of my being and to everyone else's, so I refused, and still refuse, (no matter what anyone says) to stuff my pain and sorrow so others will feel comfortable. Giving myself permission to experience it fully, when it does come, has brought me through a great many tragedies in my life, renewing me in heart, mind, body, and soul - every time. I promise the same will happen for you. Every one of us has the right to experience all of our feelings without being shamed or told to "get over it, it's in the past." So take back your rights to feel what you feel without shame. Rebel!! (This personal note I have shared is probably "against the rules" But given the urgency of our situation I say, "let's break all the rules that hold our hearts and minds hostage and start again!") Love to you all. Namaste